A Merveille du Jour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I took Quite A Large Number Of Photos (well, I may never see one again so I had to make the most of its visit didn't I? Not unlike the time I came downstairs to discover M dressed as a woman doing the washing up), so if you're not Moth-Proof I suggest scrolling down to the bit about the male members of my family mistaking themselves for Iron Age Warriors and scrapping at Danebury Hillfort this afternoon.....
|Sunlit (love the bobbly detail on the coat)|
|I want a pair of stripey stockings like these|
|Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful|
Although I found it hard to Tear Myself Away, we did also visit Danebury, our local Iron Age Hillfort, this afternoon for the regulation Weekend Walk With Teenagers.
They were overjoyed, as they always are at the prospect of a walk in the country with their parents. F and J bickered constantly all the way there about who was wearing whose boots (despite them now being so close in size as to be virtually indistinguishable, as evidenced by the mix up in the first place), and L proceeded to puncture every step he took by either punching my arm or requesting that I try to punch him so he could demonstrate how to block them. When I replied that mothers generally don't enjoy thumping their sons unless they have done something Very Bad Indeed To Deserve It, he said: "Oh, come on mum! It'll be a useful thing for you to know. What happens if someone tries to attack you?"
"I'll sing them your "oh baby, why did you leave me?" song," I replied. "I expect that would make the Run AwayVery Quickly and quite possibly regret ever coming anywhere near me."
I think he has forgotten that it is possible to walk beside someone without attempting to a) push them over or b) give them a dead arm. I was about to complain to his father about this Overly Boyish Behaviour when glancing ahead I saw M and F engaged in more or less identical behaviour. They were walking side by side each trying to kick the other up the bum by flicking their feet sideways.
No chance of any help from that quarter then.
Thankfully, a better target presented itself before my arm turned purple and I got so fed up with the punching that I pushed L over in a sheep poo.
|Not some random stranger, this is in fact his father|
|F joined in too|
I took advantage of their attention being otherwise engaged to make good my escape and wandered off to look at some Gorgeous Sunlit Beech Trees and the Wonderful Views that circle the Hillfort....
When I returned most of the male members of my family had got themselves under control and were more or less behaving, although J had mysteriously fallen over in the middle of the path for no apparent reason (she is given to clumsiness). But now Teddy was disgracing himself. He had rushed enthusiastically up to a rather primped and polished poodle who was having a discreet poo on the side of the track. I watched in silent horror as our ragamuffin squealed to halt and shoved his nose rather too close for comfort towards the poodle's busy bottom in a very unsubtle way. This proved too much for the effete owner, who started flapping his empty dog poo bag at Ted in what proved to be an entirely ineffectual attempt to shoo him away.
Teddy (who is the friendliest dog in the entire world) clearly thought the whole thing was an enormous game and started leaping excitedly for the poo bag, yipping joyfully at full volume as only a Westie can, thereby drawing the attention of everyone on the hill. The poodle man shrieked as if Ted was trying to kill him and flapped the bag even more vigorously, which of course made the game even more fun.
I looked round for help and found M trying to dunk F's head in a sheep poo and therefore blissfully unaware of Ted torturing the poodle man (this is because men can only do and concentrate on one thing at a time).
In the end Ted got bored with the game and trotted nonchalantly back to us, apparently blissfully unaware of the mayhem he had left behind.
The man gave me an anguished look. I smiled apologetically and collected my various Badly Behaved Thugs and hurried them off down the hill before they could get into any more trouble.
It will probably be a while before we go back to Danebury.
I hope your weekend is proceeding more peacefully and that you haven't unduly upset any sensitive poodle owners.