Thursday, 15 December 2016

Ted's Diary: Mouse Trouble


Festive Felicitations Friends.

You find us dozing by the radiator because it is a grey and gloomy sort of day here and dismal outdoors. We've been out running already (early along the lanes and through the Pig Fields- we got muddy but sadly, there was no fox poo to roll in, only pig poo which isn't the same at all, so after a sniff we decided to leave it) and now we're home for the rest of the day. We are hoping Mum will soon light the fire then we can move to the more comfortable beds for the remainder of the day.

Mum has made two cakes today, one is chocolate, one lemon, but we shan't be allowed to eat either so I don't understand why she made them in the first place. She's making a Dorset apple cake tomorrow because lots of people are coming for lunch on Saturday. I shall be hiding under the table or in the greenhouse as you know I'm not keen on company. Poppy will be showing off as usual. All the Interesting Smelling Christmas Food is out of our reach, although I think this has more to do with Recent Rodent Adventures than Dogs.

Because.....

On Monday night, mice got into J's room. They gnawed a mouse-sized hole in the floor boards, Mum said it was proper Tom And Jerry (whatever that means), pulled up the carpet and shredded bits of it and then they came into the house. Mum had been keeping all the stocking fillers in bags in J's room. She thought she could smell coffee in there so she opened one of the bags to see what was going on and discovered all the food inside had gone!

The little blighters had cleaned out a packet of Guinness crisps meant for L, opened a packet of wispa bits for F, sat inside the bag and stuffed themselves with the lot, then they'd opened a bag of chocolate coins, unpeeled the wrappers and eaten all the chocolate from inside. They left some of the empty wrappers under the bed along with *ahem* other evidence. They'd nibbled the corner of a Terry's Chocolate Orange, cardboard as well as chocolate, and tried to open some other packets that had defeated them. After that they'd gone across the hallway into F's room where Dad's stocking was hidden and raided that too. Nice biscuits for cheese had been opened and nibbled and generally thrown about.

Mum was Fure-re-ous. I've never seen her so cross! I thought I'd heard giggling in the night but assumed it was Poppy being naughty. Now I know it was mischievous mice.

The mousehole in the floorboards was blocked up yesterday when Dad got back from work. Then he went up to the attic to see if any damage had occurred there. I followed him, because I am a loyal and faithful sort of dog and I wanted to offer support, but I can only think that, with his nerves clearly already on edge from the mice I must have given him a fright because when he saw me he shouted get back downstairs, Teddy! which I did (quickly). Technically, we're not supposed to go upstairs and in my eagerness to offer Solidarity In The Face Of Mice I'd forgotten this essential house rule.

When I got back downstairs I sang Mum the song of my people out of nerves for a while because I was a little flustered at having accidentally broken a rule (or technically two rules because it was two flights of stairs). Poppy (for once) didn't break a rule and I could hear her sniggering behind the door after Dad shouted, which I thought was rude and typical. I got my own back later by showing L where she had a tick attached to her shoulder. Mum came and removed it with the tweezers, only Poppy didn't really care because that sort of thing doesn't bother her so getting my own back rather back-fired.

The Rat Man has been since and sorted them out and Pop and I are being paid to Be On Mouse Duty, but they've been suspiciously quiet (probably sleeping off their ill gotten gains and waiting for their fat tummies to go down) so all we've been doing really is snoozing by the fire.

That was our bit of excitement this week. That and Poppy escaping through the hedge and being returned by the neighbour. She didn't even have the grace to look sheepish, just wagged her tail when she saw Mum and leapt down to eat some of my biscuits (Pop, not the neighbour). Poppy escaping through the hedge has become a regular event so Mum has told Dad his first Christmas Job on the list is to put a new fence up in the garden. Mum thinks Poppy's Angel must be about ready for a nervous break down after three years of running around trying to look after her, the poor woman. She said my own Angel is probably relaxed to the point of portliness in comparison. I'm not entirely sure what she means.

We hope you are all well and ready for Christmas? If you're short on ideas for any last-minute presents, I know where there's a ready supply of pet mice.

Love, Ted x



19 comments:

  1. I do look forward to reading through your posts, even got OH to read them now.
    We had mice all the time in our house as a kid as we live next to a paper mill, I can still remember mum chancing one with her slipper.. Sorry about the missing chocolate but at least you found it now and not the night before Christmas.
    Amanda xx

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  2. Oh, you look so warm and cosy in front of the radiator. I'm sure you'll spring into action if a mouse should wander by. Have a Merry Christmas, Ted and Poppy, Regards, Mad Wee Dog

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  3. Hey Ted,
    Mice you say? Not keen on mice. I had an adventure myself the other night. Two men had appeared during the day, with sheets, a very long brush and a very loud vacuum. Oh and ladders and a long metal tube that looked a bit like a fat snake. Mum said that they were going to install a flue (whatever that is) and so I was allowed upstairs for the whole day, so that I wouldn't be scared by the noise. You'd think that was adventure enough, but no! When they had left, they didn't shut the side gate properly. Mum didn't realise, as it was already dark. I was intrigued, and so when Mum had gone to bed I went to investigate. I can use the cat flap, but rarely do these days. Such smells, Ted! I followed my nose, sniffing here and there. It was great fun. The only problem was that after a while I was lost. It started to rain, and my paws were wet. I hunkered down in a sheltered spot, to await rescue. I'd heard Mum tell Olly once that if he was lost he should do the same. Anyway, as dawn broke, I heard the frantic calls of Mum. I was so happy! I ran to the sound of her voice! As it was I was only over the road sheltering in the doorway of my friend Button's house. I will never be intrigued by anything ever again.
    Honey xx

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  4. Goodness, whatever next! It'll be squirrels in the loft next chomping on the cables. Happy Christmas Ted x

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  5. Oh Ted - I really can't decide whether you are one of life's innocents or whether you are just incorrigible. I rather think the latter.

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  6. I do so enjoy each and every post - you really are a story teller. I think you should seriously consider a book....Ted n Poppy's Tails.....sounds like a winner to me. This was a great tail. I loved it from the beginning to the end. The escape....yep, the doggie angel is workin overtime. -21 and snowing here today. I have to walk at the indoor track now, as roads and sidewalks covered in ice and snow. Thankyou for this lovely post.

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  7. Mice, the swine! They do love chocolate don't they. I remember mice at a friends house would unwrap a chocolate and sit on the bed looking at her while they ate it. All this cheese nonsense is, well, nonsense, chocolate is what they're after. I hope you helped to finish off any scraps they left (Guinness crisps! it's posh at your house!), wouldn't do to waste anything. Poor mum, no doubt she has had to brave the shops again to restock the stockings. Poppy does like to live on the edge doesn't she. Hope that fence is sorted soon, then you can all relax a little. Thanks for the mice offer, I'll let you know. CJ xx

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  8. There's a mouse loose about house - said in a strong Scots accent! Wow Ted quite an adventure those pesky mice have had! I think it was abit unfair to get shouted at but you know humans when they are stressed- -and mice being the problem!!!!!
    You look cosy by the radiator!
    Murray and I are snoozing our morning walk off.... mum did a general local walk today... too much time on the lead in my opinion... no real sniffing time allowed! Still at least it was early before to sun got hot and the flies are annoying!
    Hoping the fire is lit for you now!
    Enjoy the festive fun!
    Cheers Ed & Murray 🐾🐀🐾

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  9. Enjoyable post...once upon a time we had mice but not now. We have cats now :)

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  10. What an eventful week you've had Ted. It certainly sounds very exciting round your house. I especially loved the part where you sang your mum the song of your people! Good luck with all the visitors this weekend (both the human and the rodent kind!) and I hope all is peaceful again soon. xx

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  11. Lovely story telling. I suppose it means you will have to replace all the goodies eaten by the mice.

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  12. Oh Ted...what adventures you have had this week...Mice are indeed mischievous little creatures. I'm sure you are the bravest little dog there ever was. I'm sure surprised that eating all they did the mice could squeeze back through the hole they had made. You however given the opportunity would not do such things to stores of goodies. Would you Ted?! x

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  13. Well Ted you have my commiserations. At least you look warm and cosy now. I would send Ebbie and Wizard to help with the mouse problem, but I'm not sure you would get on. Plus they are getting forgetful theses days and might not look for those pesky mice properly. Bet your mum was very cross, I would have been. Bet the mice felt a bit sick too! Hope you have a totally spoilt Christmas by the fire. Tell mum to knock up a chocolate cake for me too . B xx

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  14. What a week it has been Ted, I am glad Mum got those pesky mice sorted xx

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  15. Ted, better pull your sock up laddy, otherwise you might be sharing your billet with a cat.

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  16. oh, Ted!! i can well understand why your Mum would be furious. what nervy little blighters those mice are!!! isn't it grand when there's been an Incident and it wasn't your fault at all? i always hear the story of how Oscar ate the stocking chocolate one year and then barfed it all up again under Dad's pillow. it was before my time so i couldn't get the blame for it. plus, sausage-dogs are notorious for eating Christmas chocolate and Oscar had an Excellent Nose. it's okay, i'm not speaking ill of the dead or anything, my Mum says it's one of her favourite Oscar-memories. plus he got a free pass to heaven on account of him being a dog so there's no worry about the Other Place even though he was naughty sometimes.

    i hope the mice clear out soon. we've got a Situation here whereby something-of-a-mousey-nature must've died in the vents somewhere because every time the heating comes on it smells like something dead. they manage to cause trouble even when they're dead, don't they?

    sorry you made your dad cross. it was probably the upset of all the goodies being eaten. i'm sure he didn't mean it. i make people cross all the time. it's part of my charm. hope you have a lovely Christmas...and Poppy too....all my love, Emma-dog xo

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  17. Harry would agree that sometimes going upstairs is important, even when it isn't allowed and he would approve of the kind of mouse duty that means snoozing by the fire. He would take you up on the offer of mice for Christmas but feels that it wouldn't be popular at home!

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  18. Those mice must have been celebrating Christmas early they had such a feast! Sarah x

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  19. I just came back and noticed that my comment did not post.
    All I can say is mice bad and Teddy is a really Gud Dug !
    The photo makes me happy and sad at the same time. Poppy and Ted look so wonderful sleeping there. Watson and thehamish used to sleep like that all the time. I miss that so much seeing them together.

    cheers, parsnip

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Thank you for leaving a comment. I always enjoy reading them and will try my best to reply to every one. CT x