Thursday, 11 August 2016

Ted's Diary



Inspired by the Olympics, Poppy and I have been playing more football. I think you'll agree that I have the more adventurous style. It's thanks to me that the ball gets off the ground at all. Poppy just chews it and makes her gremlin noise.

We've also been doing lots of running with Mum. Ten miles last week. I'm in good shape, apart from my wet eczema which has returned in a patch on my back. This is a) annoying and b) itchy.
Mum has shaved the hair off my back so the air can get to it. Dad calls it my tonsure (which I know is wrong because Monks have tonsures on their heads, not their backs, so really he's just displaying his own ignorance on that one).

UNFORTUNATELY, the return of the WE necessitated a visit to the V.E.T. yesterday. Even the fact that it was the Lovely Louise didn't help and I got the collywobbles as soon as I got on the table. Mum had reassured me there'd be no injections because it wasn't bad enough, but there was! I ended up having my inoculation as well 'to save time'. I ask you! I made friends with a ten year old Westie in the waiting room who had gooey eyes. I didn't like to get too close to be honest. And there was a small fat black puppy who looked very happy to be there. I didn't like to tell him the V.E.T would soon disabuse him of that misapprehension.

After the V.E.T I had to go to a parcel depot to collect some Hobbycraft stuff for Mum. I stayed in the car. And then we went to Waitrose, where Mum did the most speedy in-and-out shopping you've ever seen because she was in a panic I'd get hot in the car (even though all the windows were open and it was cloudy).

When we got home we went out for a walk round the fields to make up for the morning. I got my own back by rolling in some Very Ripe Poo. I made sure I got it on both sides, on my tail, on ear and my nose. I was orange and piquant (my new word. Poppy's new word is antidisestablishmentarianism, which sounds impressive but isn't nearly as useful as piquant because it's much harder to drop into sentances).
Mum was so impressed with the caking effect that she was struck completely silent for quite a while. Unfortunately, I can't repeat what she said when the words come back because I am a polite dog. She lifted me into the car inside a towel (no idea why) and when we got home I had a COLD shower in the garden and a real scrub of shampoo.

It was worse than the V.E.T.

Poppy didn't help by lying on her back with her legs in the air clutching her stomach and laughing till she cried.

The laughter had gone the next morning though, because she'd found something dead in the woods and ate it while mum was talking to a Golden Ringed Dragon she'd found on a nettle leaf who climbed on her finger, and by evening Pop wasn't feeling well at all. By morning she was doing Very Strange Poos Indeed and now she's getting fish for breakfast and supper, which isn't fair AT ALL because it's all her own fault AND what's more, she hasn't even had to go to the V.E.T. I ask you :o(

She's a bit better this morning so I ate some of her fish before Mum could stop me :o). I also tried to cheer her up by catching a rat, but she didn't even want to lick it, so I know she isn't feeling well. I had to lick it instead and Mum made a 'eww' noise when she picked it up to remove it :o).

Things are looking up today- we've already had a delivery and I barked at the delivery man, than a van went past so I had a good shout at that, and finally two people went up the lane so I also barked at them. And now I see a pigeon has landed on the fence so I must quickly tell you about one other thing before I go off for a spot of Pigeon Watching.

A stray dog turned up at Granny's house last week. She was a little white Jack Russell and as Granny's garden is dog proof, it looks like someone might have deliberately put her in there. She had quite big boobies, so Mum and Gran think she may have been used for breeding and dumped when she got too old to have any more puppies. Apparently, the V.E.T said people drive dogs they don't want anymore into the forest (where Granny lives) and abandon them there :o(
She was very sweet and friendly and affectionate and we really hope someone comes to the dog's home to give her a new forever home soon. Granny took her to the V.E.T (poor thing) to check if she'd been microchipped (which is the law here in the UK) but she hadn't. As I came from a rescue centre I know all too well what it's like when no-body seems to love you. Poor little thing.

Right, that pigeon is still there so I must dash.

Hope all are well?

Best regards,

Ted x




28 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear about the WE and that Poppy is still causing you problems Teddy. You do have such a hard life! Hope that the pigeon watching is going well and that there are no more v.e.t trips in the near future, I say it is good that you got the jabs at the same time as it did save another visit and you will have more time for pigeon watching club now! Hope you get some more fish at tea time, or perhaps you should hold out for some cheese! Hugs little fellow and give one to pops and mum for me too! Love Aunty Amy xx

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    1. I hadn't thought of that Aunty Amy. More time for pigeon watching is not to be sneezed at. Teddy xx

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  2. My rescue dog Nella was found in woods.....she too had been abandoned and had swollen teats.
    How could you? I am never able to understand why someone would do such a thing.

    I love this post.....it really brought a smile.
    Especially loved the 'poo' saga. lol

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    1. Poor Nella. Thank goodness you were there to love and look after her. I'm glad you appreciated the poo, Cheryl. I can't understand why mum doesn't. Ted x

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  3. Ted, you do have a busy time of it don't you. Well done on that orange find, I'm really impressed. A shame you weren't allowed to keep it on you permanently. We live in hope of finding a stray dog in this house. Nothing yet, but we're poised to snatch up anything that looks a little lost. Sorry Poppy hasn't been feeling herself. I wonder if she would eat the same thing next time. Well done on the running. If we had a dog to exercise us here we would all do a lot better I think. I hope your back is all better soon. CJ xx

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    1. We should have thought of you and the boys when granny brought the little lost dog round. Pop and I weren't allowed to meet her so we had to content ourselves with sniffing mums legs afterwards instead :-). Pop said she would eat the off dead thing again. I despair. Love ted xx

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  4. I do love your diary Ted, you really should start your own blog - you had me in stitches - except for the part about the abandoned dog - fingers crossed it will find a good home, like yours.

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    1. Thank you, Elaine. I can tell you are a woman of sound judgement. Love Ted x

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  5. Sorry to hear about the V.E.T visit Ted and the unexpected jab. Rocky hound feels the same way and I would fully expect him to coat himself with poo too! I adopted Rocky hound to save him from going into a rescue shelter so I really hope the poor little dog finds a new owner soon. Hope Poppy is feeling brighter too x

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    1. Rocky and I have much in common, Jo :-) xx

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  6. Oh Ted you made me smile today ! I would have loved to see you all decorated in the orange poo. But then I did not have to clean you up. Not fair that Poppy ate something bad and then gets fish to eat. You should have a taste of fish because you are such a gud dug and keep your home safe from people, mailmen and PIGEONS !
    Are you and Poppy are playing football or rugby ?

    cheers, parsnip and thehamish

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    1. I'm holding out for cheese, Gayle. I think it's a cross between rugby and footie we play. Love to thehamish. Hope all's well with him. Love Ted x

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  7. You've certainly got your work cut out, Mum. I think you can have too much poo and rats certainly don't help. I hope the poor little dog soon finds a happy home.x

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    1. Too much poo, Karen? Never! Mum says she agrees with you. Love Ted x

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  8. Poor Ted having to visit the vet again , it wasn't fair that Poppy got some lovely fish for a reward instead of a visit to the vet. You sound as if you have been very busy warning people away from your home. I have a full time job here as my garden is right next to a footpath and it can be hectic at weekends. Mum and Dad don't appreciate my warning barks either. I will never understand the human mind! I have been doing lots of pigeon duty too. Hope you are better soon. Tavi xx

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    1. Gosh, Tavi, that must keep you very busy all day long. I think I'd have a sore throat! Good job my friend. And on the pigeon watching too. I'm thinking of starting squirrel club in the autumn. Interested? Love Ted x

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  9. Hey Ted,
    I'm sorry to hear about the return of the dreaded eczema. Hopefully it will sort itself out soon. I'm waiting for my morning constitutional, but Mum seems to be flitting about here and there in her pj's. Honestly! I played hide and seek up the hill yesterday, and had lots of fun. I find Olly every time! I envy you the ball. I am not allowed any, because I just sit and bark constantly, and Mum says it does her head in.
    Honey xxx

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    1. Waiting on mums can be very aggravating, Honey. We find if we sit and stare at our leads it helps them get their priorities right. The hide and seek sounds fun. I also bark at the ball :-). Love Ted x

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  10. Hi Ted, sorry to hear about the W.E,and your trip to the vets, at least you got your own back with the poo :-) I have enjoyed seeing the pictures of you playing ball,you would love it here we have four pigeons who visit regularly, have a nice weekend and be good for you mummy x

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    1. Four pigeons! They would keep me busy all day long! Love Ted x

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  11. Hello Ted, it's good to hear from you again. sorry about the WE. i've got the itchy-scratchies again but they're mostly better now and i don't have to have my pills anymore which it too bad because they came with peanut butter. good on you with the Poo Roll Defense, it's a good one. just yesterday, i ate something that my mum said looked like something's innards - it was fab. i didn't feel wobbly in my tummy at all which just goes to show it's best to let things dry up a bit before you eat them. you should tell Poppy that from me. i'm quite experienced in eating dead things - i had a lovely leg-of-raccoon the other day. it was all shriveled up and crunchy, just how i like it. you have a fine style with the ball. it's too hot here just now for much but i have been keeping an eye on the chipmunks and also rounding up the chickens when i get a chance. which isn't often because my mum gets shouty when i do that. lots of love, Emma-dog.

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    1. I got pecked on the nose rounding up our chickens when I was a puppy so I stopped. I have passed on the advice to Poppy, but you know what she's like Emma Dog- she'll probably ignore it. Love Ted xx

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  12. Hello Ted. You are quite the busy little dog, and you've made me want dog in our busy house. Perhaps a rescue one. I don't think I've got the energy for puppy - people tell me it's harder work than a new baby.

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    1. Poppy was extremely hard work when she was a puppy, Gillian, far harder than me :-). Love Ted x

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  13. So love Ted posts ... So much action ... Football, new vocabulary, VET visit and rolling in something unsavoury!
    And keeping possible unwanted people away with your barking!
    It all sounds like fun, not the VET, and Waitrose is lovely!
    Murray fell in a ditch a few days ago., his short JR legs didn't quite make it... And he came out smelly and wet! He too got wrapped in a towel to be put in the car!
    Anyhoo... Keep up the ratting and pigeon stalking!
    Enjoy xxxxx

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    1. Murray and Poppy have a lot in common, Sally :0). Love Ted xx

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    2. They sure do! Happy days! xx

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  14. You have had an interesting time. It is so hot here Ted I don't even want to go out to bark at the squirrels. Regards, Mad Wee Dog

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Thank you for leaving a comment. I always enjoy reading them and will try my best to reply to every one. CT x