Friday, 25 September 2015

A Post By Ted

Well, Hello Everyone!  it's been a while, hasn't it?

I am blogging today because Mum is under Strict Instructions from Dad NOT to do anything except rest. She tends to do what she's told when he puts his foot down. I know you all tried to tell her but what can I say? She's stubborn as old boots, my Mum. I asked her how her head was feeling this morning and she said 'like very small fairies have been relentlessly tapping away at it all night long with tiny weeny hammers.' 

She hasn't made much sense in general this week. She ordered two more Father Browns (which we like watching too) only to discover when they arrived that they were Dutch imports. She also ordered Dad some new pants, and now he's very worried about what might turn up. He has taken the computer away from her now until she's better :o)

Anyway, Poppy and I have had something horrible happen to us this week. We have been to see Mrs Danning. Not that Mrs D is a nasty person- she isn't. In fact we really like her. We wag our tails like mad when she appears and jog off into her house happy as larks. Mum has got over the lack of woeful goodbyes.

No, the problem is that with seeing Mrs D comes the dreaded bath and hair cut. You may remember last week I was looking like a member of 1970's Glam Rock Band Slade crossed with Jeremy Corbyn gone bad....


Setting aside the fact that I couldn't see out of my eyes, I was happy. The weather is getting cool and a dog needs his fur in that type of low temperature. But Oh No, mum said I looked a mess and so off to Mrs D we went. 

Now I look like this...


Oh My God! I have been bouffanted! It isn't funny. I wouldn't be out of place on a calendar, for Heaven's Sake. And the smell! I can't describe it. Mum tried. She told Gran on the phone I smelt like a Tart's Boudoir (whatever that means). 

At least Poppy has been trimmed all over and doesn't have a huge fat face to go with her new hair cut. What on earth was Mum and Mrs Danning thinking?! (although Dad did say this morning that Poppy's face looks extremely small now and Mum told her she keeps thinking she's got three eyes because her nose looks like one- but then, she's got concussion so no one is taking what she says terribly seriously right now).


We got home after the Hair Cut Horror (Mum nearly choking on the floral fumes in the confined space of the car) and rushed into the garden to get rid of the pong and try and tone-down the whole shiny thing by getting mud on our paws and wiping it on each other. Poppy forgot this was the aim and got Carried Away as she does by chewing my ears instead. On The Wall for Heaven's Sake! How many times do I have to tell her it isn't safe to play those games On The Wall. She never listens :o(


In the end, I pulled my Most Ferocious And Terrifying I-could-be-a-wolf-at-a-glance snarl...


Which seemed to work as she shot off onto the patio with me in Hot Pursuit...



I think my Wolf-Snarl may have been a bit too convincing....


Mum says she's never seen Poppy looking so worried before :o) Still, nothing keeps Pop down for long (although I'm not sure I deserved a stuck out tongue as a response, especially considering she started it all by biting my ears on the wall in the first place)...


The long and short of it is that we did get rid of some of the clean, and some of the smell, but I fear only time will restore our lovely long, dirty, scruffy coats. And I am very much afraid that I overheard Mum making me another appointment for eight week's time.Eight weeks? Heavens! That's barely long enough to grow a small sprouting eyebrow!

We were exhausted after the bath, the hair cut and then the attempts to put right some of the damage so we fell asleep in our beds for the next hour or so...


When we woke up Uncle Bulgaria was here looking at moths with Mum and dropping off some Apple Chutney in exchange for a big bag of apples, and then Aunty Lucy turned up to pick up yet more apples and drop off Damsons by way of an exchange. I watched Mum tip some sugar in a glass bottle last night, then drop the plums through the rim one by one and finally pour in some clear liquid before screwing the lid on and putting it away in a dark cupboard. Poppy and I shared notes on how strange human behaviour is sometimes.



Before I go, Mum asked me to show you her new shawl which has arrived. It's not my cup of tea AT ALL being a) male and b) a dog, but as it's her blog and she did bang her head giving me a cuddle last week and hasn't been right since I suppose I shall go along with it to keep her quiet....


We haven't been allowed anywhere near it, even though it looks very warm and snuggly. Poppy is planning to sit on it tonight when no-one is looking.

Hope you're all well? 

Love from Fluffy Silver Ted (Grrrr) and Skinny Clean Pops :o) xx



42 comments:

  1. Ha ha ha, I don't think I have ever laughed so much reading a post:))) You should have your own blog Ted, or kidnap Mum's:) Sounds like you have had a really stressful week with all that is going on at your end of the world! My furbabies sends their love and condolences for everything you've had to put up with lately!

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    1. Thank you Annie :o) I'm so pleased it gave you giggle. I am allowed to take over Mum's blog once in a while- usually when I am feeling particularly exasperated about something Poppy has done that is naughty :o) Love back to your furballs xx

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  2. Love this post your doggies are adorable x

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  3. Ben sends his commiserations and is totally with you, he had a wash, cut and blow dry yesterday. He has his own shampoo though so does not smell like a perfume counter.

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    1. Oh no, Poor Ben. There must be something in the air :o)

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  4. Teddy, thanks so much for the morning chuckle...it is 7:33 here in Kentucky. Our dog Brutus has been out all night...he has a girlfriend next door and can't seem to leave her for a minute :) Love the haircut! So sorry to hear your Mom (as we say in the south!) has a bad headache! Hope she is feeling better soon!

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    1. You are very welcome., Juliet. I am a little bit concerned about Brutus being out all night though- does he stay at his girlfriend's house? We have a curfew here :o( Love Ted x

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    2. Brutus was in BIG trouble this morning!! It was his first and last sleep over! Dad and Mom were afraid of the watch dog "Davey"! (Our neighbors belong to "creatures great and small" a rescue and placement for animals...good organization!

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    3. Oh dear :o( Perhaps he could invite his girlfriend over to your house next time instead? (sounds safer- I worry about safety as you can probably tell. Poppy doesn't, but then she is a Jack Russell and they are Completely Reckless) xx

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  5. Both of you seem tohave changed colour after your shampoos!

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    1. We are mourning the loss of the mud, Simon. Without it we don't feel like us at all.

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  6. Tell your mum we hope that those fairies soon stop their hammering with those tiny hammers. I shall read your post to Tess who is also ready for a haircut. I thought it was too late in the season but \i think your mum is right, she will have to grin and bear a bit of cold.

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    1. Mum is thinking Gin would be a good cure for fairies with hammers. Personally, I think water would be safer.
      Look out Tess! Love Ted x

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  7. Lovely to hear from you Teddy, you are a good doggy to take over blogging duties today to give your Mum a rest. Don't worry too much about the floraly smell, I am sure that you will find some fox you know what to roll in soon and that will sort things out. Make sure that you take care of your lovely Mum won't you, it is hard for us girls when we are feeling delicate! We need lots of love! Give your Mum a hug! xx

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    1. Thank you Aunty Amy. We are both giving mum lots of cuddles (Poppy is practically LIVING on the sofa with her at the moment). The smell has got better today. We went out for a run through the fields and the wet grass helped. I will pass your very kind hug on to Mum in a minute. Hope you have a lovely weekend and thank you for leaving me a comment (I know you're supposed to be have a small break from blogging :o) ). Love Ted xx ps- Poppy says can I send her your love too please, so I am x

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  8. Oh dear what an ordeal for both of you but one good thing is your fur will grow again and I am sure you know aexactly how to roll in the mud and gt rid of that dreadful perfume smell. Really you would think adults would know better to spring you with that stuff. Anyway, I do think you looks both een though Poppy does look like he has 3 eyes. I think don't Poppy should sit on that new shawl becasue you never knnow what reaction your Mum might have, afterall with that bump on her heard, she could go beserk! Just saying!

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    1. It really was Margaret- a complete ordeal. Mum has at least bought us some non-smelly shampoo for next time (I am trying not to think about it). I hadn't thought about Mum going beserk with her bumped noggin. I will talk to Poppy but frankly I don't hold out much hope of changing her mind. She can be very determined when she gets an idea in her head :o) XX

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  9. Hello Ted, I feel your pain, my friend. I keep hearing my mummy telling me I smell (rude) and I need to go to Miss Kelly for a bath and a tidy up before we go away for Thanksgiving because I'm going to someone else's house and there will be small children and I can't go smelling. Humans are weird. Fear not, your clean smell will go away soon enough. Cheers, Mad Wee Dog


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    1. That's just too bad, isn't it, Mad Wee Dog? I feel your pain. I don't understand why humans just don't put up with our smell. It's natural at least :o) Have a good weekend and perhaps hide when you hear the name Miss Kelly. Ted :o)

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  10. Hey Ted,
    While I am a human that hates visiting the hairdresser, I have to say that you look rather handsome. Mrs Danning did a very good job. You look rather distinguished, if I may say. I'm glad that Mum has been ordered to take it easy. Can you let her know that her new shawl is gorgeous. She might also be interested to know that the sloe picking in West Cornwall is very good indeed this year. Big, fat juicy sloes ready for the gin.
    I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
    Leanne xx
    PS. I am often to be found bearing my teeth at the bottom of the stairs, while hollering at my naughty boys to come get their tea. I feel your pain (although neither of them has ever chewed my ear)

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    1. Oh thank you Leanne, you are a Lovely Lady- I can tell :o) I'll tell mum you like her shawl. She is rather chuffed with it apparently. She asked me to tell you she is taking it easy drinking Gin and that you would know what that meant. She also said she'd spied some nice sloes on one of our walks and we're going to pick them this weekend to go with the Damson Vodka. She said it's a shame you don't live nearer :o) Let's hope your boys don't start chewing your ears (or Honey's). Have a lovely weekend, Love from Teddy xx

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  11. Thanks Ted for such an interesting post, much better than Mummy's but don't tell her I said so, I don't want to upset her.
    I think your wolf growl is awsome and such beautiful white teeth.
    Give Mummy my love and tell her I hope she soon feels better.
    Briony
    x

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    1. You're very welcome, Briony :o) I think I write better than Mum too (but we won't say anything). I'll pass on your love and send you all our best wishes for a lovely weekend (even the cats). Love from Ted xx

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  12. Well, helloooooooooo,handsome!! Do you think Poppy was overcome more with the perfume..*ahem*, I mean manly cologne fumes than the ferocious wolf snarl? Just sayin'.
    That liquid in the jar with the sugar and fruit..if you think Mum is behaving weird now...just wait until you see what happens when she drinks it!!!
    Jane x

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    1. We did smell pretty flowery Jane, although I prefer to think it was my raw fiercesomeness that scared her. I will keep an eye on what happens when Mum drinks from that bottle and let you know. She said something about Christmas? Love Ted x

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  13. Dear Ted glad you and Poppy survived your cut and blow dry. I have mine in two weeks time. I don't mind having a wash but I hate the smell of shampoo there are so many nicer smells to roll in as I discovered today! Hope your Mum is getting better with all the attention you are both giving her. Love Tavi x

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    1. I hope it was a particularly good and long-lasting smell, Tavi? Us Westies are very good at finding the strongest smells and rolling in them, aren't we? Good luck with your haircut- will your mum put a picture of your on her blog afterwards so we can see? We are both amazed at how much you've grown- you don't look at all like a puppy any more. Love from T and P xx

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  14. Oh Ted, so clean and shiny, and I can see your smile now as well! Did I hear something about an oily patch last week? I'm wondering if you can get back to wherever you found the oil and rub some back in. Your coat is so short now, I'm sure you could get it all the way in. Poppy looks quite divine. Love the shot when you've got her all the way down on the patio. Can definitely see the whites of her eyes there. Look out, RAT! CJ xx

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    1. CJ that is a BRILLIANT idea! Yes, I spent last weekend under the car- I will go back there today when no one is looking :o) Dad calls Poppy a Rat Up A Drain Pipe :o) xx

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  15. Cute post Ted, I do hope you have recovered from your shocking ordeal! I don't get to go to the hairdressers as my Dad's job is to give us a good scrub followed by a game of football. Benefits of having a short coat old boy. I sympathise with your unruly little sis, we have a very rude houseguest at the moment, quite insufferable. Keeps trying to pee on my head! Chin-up sweetie. Rosie. xx

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    1. Oh Rosie I did hear about your house guest. I once weed on Poppy's head by mistake. I was mortified! But then it was her fault really for walking under my leg. Enjoy your game of footie xx

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  16. Well I am not a Gud Dug but I think you both look fabulous !
    I think thehamish likes his herbal body wraps. They use a special soap on him that helps his skin so no bad smells.
    Please don't get too muddy.

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. Why thank you, Parsnip :o) A herbal body wrap sounds terrifying! But I think Poppy would like it as she likes massages and things like that. I will mention it to her. Love from Ted x

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  17. Well Ted, I think you look very smart and Poppy looks very tiny. Hoping everyone is feeling much better on this sunny morning and you all have a lovely walk. Tell mum not to run until her poor bashed head is completely back to normal.

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    1. Hi Sarah :o) Poppy is Quite Small anyway so she looks even smaller with less fur. It is lovely here today, we are about to go out for our walk. Mum has decided to try running tomorrow or Monday as that's more than a week since she hit her head and apparently the fairies have stopped with the hammering now. Love from Teddy x

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    1. It is VERY spotty isn't it? Mine is black and pink, but not in splotches. Love Ted x

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  19. Hello Ted.. what an ordeal for you both.. but I have to say you and Poppy do look cute with your new fur-dos. xx

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    1. I hate to say it Julie, but I think we probably look smarter with the new 'dos :o) xx

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  20. Hahaha! Thanks for the laugh - your dogs are adorable. I guess you are feeling better now seeing as someone wrote this and a few more posts I have yet to read...... :-) xx

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    1. Thank you Mandy :o) Mum is feeling much better (almost back to normal in that she's making some sense but not much!) Love Ted x

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Thank you for leaving a comment. I always enjoy reading them and will try my best to reply to every one. CT x