Friday, 19 June 2015

A Post By Ted

Yesterday, we had the Dreaded Hair Cut with Mrs Danning. 

Mum tricked us into going by telling us we were off on our normal walk, and then immediately after the walk dropped us at Mrs Danning's without going home first. I thought this was not playing by the rules At All as it gave us no time whatsoever to prepare. Usually I need at least half an hour to practice my Sad And Wobbly face which I always use when it's hair cut time. I didn't even have time to start shivering or to gaze at mum with an anguished expression. Poppy forget to look sad too and went off with me and Mrs Danning merrily wagging her tail. Although she did say if she'd known that was where we were going she'd have rolled in some fox poo in the woods.

We came home smelling of aloe vera and lemons and looking all neat and tidy. Pop got her own back on mum by escaping through a hole in the fence later in the day when L came home from school and let us out into the garden. She's been working assiduously on that hole for days, hiding it behind some leaves so no one else apart from me knew it was there. The first mum knew of it was when David (our neighbour) rang her and said I've got Poppy here. Mum was coming back from spending a lot of money that dad doesn't know about yet on clothes in Salisbury at the time and she was not at all pleased.

Actually, she told me later she was more worried about Poppy getting herself squished on the road because as we all know Pop has no road sense whatsoever (you could change that to read no sense whatsoever and it would be just as true).

Anyway, Poppy had made herself at home in David's office by the time mum arrived and everyone had fallen in love with her, but I think this must only have been because she'd just had a bath and a hair cut and smelt nice and was all smooth and silky as a result. Normally you need a fumigator and gloves to risk picking Poppy up and snuggling her. 

She told me when she came back on the front seat of mum's car (we're never allowed on there normally) that the nice secretary lady had given her her very own bowl of water in an ice cream tub and let her sit on her lap while she typed letters. This is NOT FAIR. Poppy misbehaves and gets cuddles and water and a trip on the front seat of the car- I stay at home inside our garden (which is where we should be) like a very well behaved dog and get not so much as a well done Ted for my trouble. No cheese. Nothing

Poppy told me she was going to dig another hole and go back again tomorrow. Mum does not know this. In the light of her not giving me any cheese for being good I am deliberating not telling her. But as the Late Great Sir Terry Pratchett said in his book Truth (which I often listen to while mum is cooking): 'The way of the truthful-by-nature is as a bicycle race in a pair of sandpaper underpants,' so I expect I will tell her.


I did have a huge fuss made of me at Mrs Danning's by another lady who'd come to collect her dog, which was also a Westie. I'm afraid it was a Calender Westie though (you know? The sort who frequent the front covers of calenders and are permanently white and shiny and pristine no matter the time of year. So not at all like me really).

I have got over my irritation at the lack of Good Behaviour Reward (although it wasn't helped by L getting a pack of rolos for finishing his exams this week, or by Poppy not being told off sufficiently for eating a moth yesterday) and I have also forgiven mum for not taking me out on a run she did two nights ago with Pop. Pop said it was so hot she had to stop TWICE on the way round to climb down the back into the stream and get some water. She lay panting on the floor for AGES when they got back. I would not have liked that AT ALL so I suppose I got the better deal there.

Anyway, I'll close now and leave you with some photos of what happens when I'm trying to have a peaceful sunbathe on the step. Just be grateful you don't have a Poppy living with you!







 
Everyone here says I've the Patience Of A Saint, but she is very little and very silly and I have been brought up properly and know that you have to be patient with those who are less intelligent than yourself and therefore don't realise they are being foolish. You have to Set A Good Example and I am trying  to teach her, but I don't think it's working: 


I NEVER bury myself in the hedge when I'm pigeon watching, the aim being to move silently and never leave a trace that you've been there so they aren't warned of your presence, but Poppy crashes through the irises and gets stuck in them ALL THE TIME when she's doing her Vole Watching Club. It's enough to make me Despair sometimes.

Oh well, I at least have learnt to cultivate patience and hope to impart at least some of the wisdom that I possess to the silly small child. Eventually.


All the best,

Ted x
 

21 comments:

  1. Oh My Goodness,
    Ted you are the best gud dug ever to put up with Poppy. I would have given you a piece of cheese ! You deserve it.
    You remind me of my Dr. Watson. He has put up with and tries to teach
    thehamish how to be a gud dug.
    I think you look very handsome with your summer cut ! Quite debonair in fact.
    Give poopy Poppy a gud low gurrrrrrr every once in a while and see if that helps ?

    woof, The Square Ones
    cheers, parsnip

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Does Dr Watson have much success with thehamish, Parsnip? I only ask because it would give me hope if he did. Best regards to you and The Square Ones, Ted.

      Delete
    2. I think thehamish depends on Watson for love especially when he is sick He always cuddles up to Watson. He is his touch stone.
      Watson has always been an old soul and is so gentle with everyone.
      But thehamish is smart, sweet but completely bonkers and I don't really think Watson has taught him anything but maybe being part of the family. They keep each other company.
      Watson is 17 and thehamish is 12. They are each have their own little personalities
      Sorry I couldn't give you any hope.

      cheers, parsnip

      Delete
  2. Oh Teddy! Another very difficult day for you! Poor fellow. It sounds as though having a little sister called Poppy is very hard work for you indeed. One day she will grow up and be very sensible just like you I am sure! One day!! Perhaps you can distract her from Vole Watching Club by getting her to come and do Pigeon Watching Club with you and then she won't get stuck in the irises. At least she was clean and tidy when she escaped so she got taken good care of, they might not have taken her in if she was grubby. I hope that you do get a reward for being good, perhaps your mum is saving it until after dinner! Enjoy the summer evening. Aunty Amy xxxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She's hopeless at Pigeon Watching Club, Aunty Amy. She doesn't have the patience and scares them all away! I will ask mum if the Cheese For Being Good is perhaps coming tomorrow. Lots of Love from Teddy xx

      Delete
  3. I wonder what Poppy would say about you?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She would say I am the Best Brother Ever, obviously :o)

      Delete
  4. Hi Ted , I must say you are looking rather dapper sat there in the sun and you've had quite a day of it. We have been to a new place to day which mum enjoyed so much I was aloud of the lead for a bit so she could take some photos, not that I run of you know it's just she worries to much and likes to know were I am. I'm not to keen on other dogs so she can pick me up if one comes by, not sure what soft in the head means ? I still managed to eat loads of grass on my walk, but this was fresh air grass and when we sat for a while on a hill I had fun slipping down the grass on my belly, why walk when you can slide.Wishing you walk filled weekend...
    Old Man xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have a great mental image of you sliding down the hill on your stomach, Old Man- that sounds like the best use of a hill ever. Mum is planning to catch up on reading blogs properly over the weekend as she's been very busy this week, so she'll be able to tell me all about the new place you found today. Have a great weekend too, Ted x

      Delete
  5. Oh Ted, Poppy is such a trial isn't she, you are a good dog to her. I gasped out loud when I read that she'd eaten a moth. A moth! I know you wouldn't do such a thing, it's an outrage. I'm very impressed that you smelled of lemons, albeit briefly. I bet you were delicious. CJ xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, CJ! A Moth! I NEVER eat moths. Even when they land on my back and my nose. What's worse is that Poppy knows she's not supposed to either and she grabbed it when mum wasn't looking and then tried to pretend it wasn't in her mouth.

      I was quite delicious yesterday, but I've been rolling in the grass this afternoon and have a green smudge on me now. Have a good weekend. Love Ted x

      Delete
  6. Nice writeup Ted, you and Poppy look really smart now. Sorry you didn't get to sunbathe in peace, you'll have to get your own back on Poppy sometime. Sorry to read too that you didn't get any good behaviour rewards, I'm sure if Mummy reads this she'll give you a tasty treat.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi Ted you have the 'patience of Job' Well I supose I mean Ted. You do put up with a lot especially when she gets al the cuddles and attention but you are the big brother and I know you love Poppy and really want the best for her. I think you are lovely adn Poppy is very fortunate to have you around to try adn keep her out of too much trouble. Have a lovely weekend adn by the way, this is a very well written article. I am sure Poppy could not do this at all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do love her Margaret, you are right, and I would be lost without her. This doesn't stop her being Very Annoying in the way of all little sisters.... xx

      Delete
  8. Lovely to see another post by you Ted - you and Poppy both look exceedingly smart (and cute!!) :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've got used to the hair cut now Caroline (it's better since I rolled in the earth to get rid of the clean smell) xx

      Delete
  9. Teddy, You remind me of David Suzuki.....always the wise one, teaching others and having great patience. I really think your human Mum should have given you a piece of cheese right after the groomer. One day, one day my friend, Poppy will learn. Gud Dug lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She gave me a big piece of chicken tonight Lilly so I think that made up for the lack of cheese xx

      Delete
  10. You both look very smart. I too got a treat for escaping out the gate the other day. Everyone thought I was going to make a run for it because I've done that a few times before but I was only having a sniff about. I wasn't going to say no to the treat though, was I? Regards, Mad Wee Dog

    ReplyDelete
  11. Humans are daft creatures aren't they?

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for leaving a comment. I always enjoy reading them and will try my best to reply to every one. CT x