Hello everyone, I had to write this post to tell you all about the two awful things mum put us through this weekend.
As you know, I am the calm, steady, reliable and long suffering one of the two of us. I always do as I am asked, I don't bite, I'm not grumpy and I am always friendly and polite. I try very hard not to roll in fox poo and to generally keep clean. I don't jump on sofas or chew shoes or shred tissues either, and I don't go on illegal raids upstairs, jump on the beds and knock over the pillows or steal chocolate and run off into the garden with it before anyone has noticed.
The only thing I don't like is baths. They make me shake and shiver :o(
On Saturday, after we had got back from checking on the sheep, dad asked me and Poppy whether we'd like to go on a run with him. Poppy leapt about like the mad thing she is and shouted 'YES! YES! YES!' three times, very loudly. I was more sedate in my response (as befits my status as the elder dog), and accepted dad's invitation with a polite wag of my tail.
Anyway, we had a great time running across the fields and we did six miles in the end. I have a sneaky suspicion this is part of a weight-loss programme my parents have devised for me because they think I am getting stout! How rude is that?! I am not getting stout- it is middle aged spread, that's all.
I know my parent's think I gave up running about two years ago, but that was mainly because the roads hurt my paws- off road is much nicer, plus of course I can't allow Poppy to be the only dog who goes running with dad. So I kept up with them and had a thoroughly enjoyable time.
When we got home, Pop and I had a sleep because it was quite tiring all that running, and dad disappeared into the garage where he is making mum a cupboard for Phyllis.
Mum came downstairs and stared at us both for a second. She muttered something under her breath that sounded like 'typical man' and 'absolutely filthy' then I was sure I heard the dreaded word 'bath.'
I looked at Poppy nervously but she was too busy thumping her tail on our bed to have heard anything.
My suspicions were confirmed a few minutes later when I heard the water running upstairs and then mum came in, took Pop's collar off, picked her up and marched off upstairs with her.
She came back a few minutes later soaking wet and complaining that mum had made the bath too deep and she'd had to do the doggy paddle to stay afloat! I thought this was very funny but I didn't have long to laugh because the next thing I knew I was upstairs in the bath (which was very dirty from Poppy) being shampooed too.
We'd barely got started when there was a knock on the door. Mum thought it was my boy so she said come in love. But L didn't answer, he just knocked again. It's OK love, said mum, I'm just washing Ted, you can come in. But he still didn't.
Mum looked at me. I looked at her.
Odd, she said.
Indeed, I replied.
She opened the door and Poppy shot in, quick as a flash. She had come upstairs all by herself to find us, even though she knows we're not allowed upstairs on our own. She knew the right door to knock on and everything. I have to admit I was impressed- that was pretty clever of her don't you think?
Anyway, mum was so impressed Poppy was allowed to stay while I had my bath. She jumped up to lick my nose then settled down by mum's feet till I'd been washed and showered and then we both ran very quickly downstairs just in case we got another wash.
We thought that was that, until yesterday when dad let us into some very smelly mud at the sea and we both came out wearing socks as a result. He got a right telling off from mum for that (especially after we'd both just had a bath), but he just grinned and said not to worry, he would hose us off when we got home.
NO! we both shouted, looking at each other in horror. Mum replied that it would be the window cleaner episode all over again, and I had to explain to Poppy that a few years ago mum was talking about paying someone to clean the windows regularly and dad wouldn't let her because he said he'd do them himself instead.
But, said Pop puzzled, Dad never cleans the windows, it's always mum who does them.
Exactly! I said, and that's why she always mutters under breath whenever she does it :o)
Luckily for us, dad forgot about washing us when we got home and he went off somewhere on his bike instead so we thought we were probably safe.
Only then the second bad thing of the weekend happened- mum appeared with the scissors and gave us both a haircut! Apparently, she was fed up with our long coats picking up all the mud which dropped off on the carpet when it was dry, so she snipped it all off from under our tummies, and then she did our faces too!
We sat next to each other on the garden table and submitted to this indignity quietly, even Poppy who usually wriggles like mad and then eats all the bits of cut off hair managed to sit still and only licked mum's nose three or four times, which was not many for her.
Dad got into more trouble when he got home because the second we saw him we jumped up and down and shouted 'dad!' and mum said it was hopeless trying to tidy us up after that because we wouldn't sit still.
I suppose I have to admit that we can both see out of our eyes now, even though dad laughed when he saw me and said I looked like a mouse with enormous ears :o)
He stopped laughing when mum told him it was his turn next.
What do you think of our new haircuts?
Love from Teddy and Poppy xxx