Thursday, 24 April 2014

What Do You Think Of My New TV Boyfriend? He Is Compensation For Our Extremely Naughty Dog...

Me again!

The Old Man's out tonight on a copywriter's course (yawn) and I've had a Trying Sort Of A Day, so I'm sitting here drinking the BIGGEST glass of chilled chardonnay you've ever seen and eating my way through a packet of chocolate eclairs. I think I may possibly have eaten too many because now I feel slightly sick :-(

Anyway,  onwards.

We have exams looming and I am beginning my revision. Its actually only one exam, but we all agree its going to be a bas****d, due to the sheer quantity and depth of the information we're supposed to learn. I don't mind revision IF there is a chance I will remember it, but sadly I have Fading Brain Cells, being a mother in her forties who juggles three children, two dogs, a cat, a husband, a job and a degree, and also thanks to the Brain Lesions I'm fairly sure I've picked up from one too many paralytic migraines. All that Takes Its Toll on a girl and so to work round it I am having to make sure I get the revision in early.

As a result of this I have been called 'stressed' by the same person twice in twenty-four hours, and frankly that has got on my nerves. I am not a stressy sort of person: I have my life well in balance thank you. I know where peace is to be found, and conversely agitation, and so I avoid agitation and go for peace. I couldn't do my job (healing) if I was someone who suffered from stress because Quite Frankly the absolute last thing a healer should ever do is pass on to her patient Bad Energy. If you are trying to help others feel better, you really do need to do it from a starting point of wellness yourself. I have tried doing healing when unwell before and it simply doesn't work. So: I am essentially a happy bee who sees the positive in most things, and to be labelled so casually as 'stressed' by someone who barely knows me really pissed me off, to the point I could feel myself becoming annoyed :-(

I dispelled the irritation by taking the dogs (who have been cooped up today) out for a walk. I left the camera at home and Very Quickly regretted it. Linnets, a Black Cap, loads of Carder Bees, a Rabbit, a Ruby Tiger Moth in Broad Daylight flashing his red knickers at me AND some Interesting Wild Flowers and I only had the iphone which is OK but nowhere near as good as my lumix...

Who lives in a hole like this...? Mouse? Bee? Vole?

The Best I Could Do- Ruby Tiger with bright red pants (hidden). He was Quite Grumpy, definitely DID NOT want to be picked up, and flew off in a huff. Bit Early for round here.

Thrush's snail-bashing stone

I came home and heard a Chiffchaff chiff-chiff-chaffing in a tree by the lake, so I grabbed the proper camera and got this...What d'you think? Not bad?

Pops had rolled in a particularly gross wet FP while we were out so she had an impromptu cold shower and shampoo in the garden. It is a mark of how often we do this now that she just sat down and waited until it was over before she went off to torment Ted with her wet head.

I left them outside so she could dry off without shaking all over the walls and carpets. In hindsight this was Very Unfair On Teddy, who really should have been indoors with me as he'd done nothing wrong. When I looked for them out the kitchen window half an hour later this is what I saw....

Oh dear.

That's one unhappy westie. You can tell from the expression, as well as from the In-The-Greenhouse position. The down-turned mouth is also a bit of a give away.

Ted only ever takes refuge in the greenhouse when Things Are Really Bad. They have definitely been bad this week. So far, Miss Pops has:

1) Learnt how to jump on the kitchen table when no-one is looking and remain there Quite Happily and Cheerfully, as long as you're on the other side of the window waving your fist at her furiously

2) Stolen Jemima Puddleduck from one of the beds upstairs and left her chewed and soggy in the sitting room

3) Dug out my tissue from under the cushion on the sofa and shredded it

4) Done a poo on the hall floor

5) Jumped on the sofa

6) Scattered my revision notes on the floor THREE TIMES

7) Undone and mixed up all the laces on M's running shoes

8) Left a wet sports sock wedged inside my running shoes

9) Raided upstairs and stolen an easter egg

10) Eaten a cleo poo and then licked M's face

11) Jumped on the coffee table, stolen one of L's biscuits and rushed off into the garden with it and eaten it before anyone could work out what she'd got in her mouth

12) Run off with a chocolate bar still in its wrapper

13) Chased a Bee round the garden

14) Growled and barked at Cleo, who was then too frightened to go outside to the loo and so did a wee by the washing machine, which M thought was water and spread all over the floor so it stank to high heaven the next day which necessitated the entire floor being washed

15) Barked again at Cleo who then did a poo in my washing basket

16) Woken me up EVERY NIGHT this week at 3am barking furiously at invisible rabbits

17) Cleaned Ted's teeth for him with her tongue Very Thoroughly several times a day regardless of whether he actually wanted his teeth cleaned or not

18) Totally ignored Ted's furious and increasingly despairing growls that he didn't actually want a Jack-Russell type tooth-brush

19) Licked M's legs when he came back from running and was all sweaty (yuk) despite being asked not to

and finally, 20) rolled in hideous wet fox poo with all that that entails

I am in despair.

I think this may be revenge for the fact that L tied a bell to her collar that was on his Lindt Easter Bunny and now she tinkles wherever she goes :-)

To help me get over this I decided I needed some Healthy Escapism and so I have found myself a New TV Boyfriend (both Cillian Murphy and Damien Lewis having buggered off elsewhere for the time being). His name is Richard Rankin and he is currently to be seen on the Beeb's excellent WWI Sunday Night Drama Crimson Fields, where he plays an incredibly grumpy but all-things-considered-undeniably-sexy doctor. I am a bit In Love (despite the fact that he is a whole TEN YEARS younger than me. When did that happen? It wasn't all that long ago that people who were ten years younger than me were still in primary school. It shouldn't be allowed: it's just rude).

Anyway, seen as we have such a Good Tradition on this blog of you all assessing my candidates for TVBF, here is a pic for you to decide whether or not he is worthy of the title. Please bear in mind that as soon as Peaky Blinder's is back on he will have stiff competition from a certain Mr Murphy. I figure it's only fair to give him his share of the limelight now. Please also bear in mind that M's blasted weather girl (still dressed like she's off for carefree cocktails as soon as she's delivered the weather report) has been on every bloomin night this week and that clearly Isn't Fair At All. Mr Rankin would give me some ammunition of my own to fire back with....(actually, that was Rather Good, seeing as he's in a War Drama....).

Wishing you all a peaceful (stress-free) evening, 

CT :-)

Captain Thomas Gillan


  1. HI CT Loved reading your post today. That shot of Ted in the greenhouse says it all but the list of 20 points about Miss Pops had me smiling although some of it was 'too much information'!! I was say after all she did you would not only be annoyed but stressed!!! Of course the wine and eclairs will certainly be a good de-stresser! yes good shot of the Chiffchaff and that fellow at the end is very handsome, 1 years younger - no problem! Have a great weekend.

    1. Hi Margaret :-)

      Yes, poor Teddy- he can give very vocal looks! I was pleased to get a decent shot of the chiffchaff- we have so many here but usually only hear them in the trees.
      Wine and chocs, excellent for dispelling irritation, and glad you approve of the latest TVBF. I agree- fantasy boyfriends probably can be Toy Boys as well. Have a lovely weekend x

  2. Mmmm doesn't sound like your stressed at all....honestly it doesn't ;)
    Tis always the same when the camera is left behind, wildlife seems to have this sense of when to pop out and shake its (red?) arse at you knowing that you'd be cursing the fates all the way home.

    1. Annoyed more than stressed :-) If you get a chance to google ruby tiger, the bright red undercarriage is glorious- a really rich colour. I should get some in the moth box later in the year and will put some pics up here as and when. Happy gardening this weekend Sir.

  3. I think your Teddy and my Jack should be together in a BIG meadow and run off some of that energy together and then perhaps the list wouldn't be so long....or perhaps its time for Teddy to write a book about his mischievous ways, eh. YUMMY photo at end of post. Aaaah - real easy on the eyes :)

    1. Ted does occasionally post his diary here. He started doing this when Poppy first arrived back in November and was driving him mad...not a lot changes!
      TVBF DEFINITELY easy on the eye...glad you approve :-)

  4. Poor Ted - he does look very glum! Yes, I very much like the new TV Boyfriend :) I rather look forward to Sunday evenings too :) !!!

    1. He does make me laugh the way he retreats to the greenhouse whenever he's had enough. He is the loveliest of boys and puts up with a Great Deal from Small :-)

      I thought you might approve of TVBF- I think we have similar tastes!! x

  5. I had to smile at lovely Ted in the greenhouse, even though he isn't happy. Life with a puppy has its difficult moments. It is frustrating seeing things without the camera - if I take Harry out for a quick walk and I decide it won't be worth taking the camera I can guarantee I'll regret it. Lovely photo of the Chiffchaff. I haven't see a Willow Warbler yet - I'm looking out for one.

    1. Ted can always be relied upon to make us smile, regardless of what he is doing :-)
      I was in the middle of treating a patient this afternoon and could see Poppy having a lovely time wandering about on the table :-( Something Will Have To Be Done.... Good luck with the Willow Warbler- does the song id it more than the feathers? I've not seen one before.

  6. TVBF is quite attractive - maybe we'll get to see that programme over here one day. Your recounting of Poppy's activities had me in stitches but I know it's not so funny when you're picking up your umpteenth poo of the day.

    1. That sounds like it comes from bitter experience LRH... :-)

  7. Love the Chiffchaff photo-well done, they're not easy to spot around here although they are singing away. Poor Ted, he looks so upset. Poor Cleo-cats can get so upset like that. Like the new but temporary TVBF.

    1. I was really chuffed to get the shot- he sang for ages but kept leaping about. Glad you approve of the new TVBF, but roll on Peaky Blinders series II :-)

  8. That's such a sad Westie! Sarah x

    1. Luckily he never stays that way for long....just making his point felt! x


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