Wednesday, 12 June 2013

Things That I have Learnt This Week

This week I have learnt some useful things that I thought I would share with you. 

1. If you want to go out walking in the rain and you know your boots have holes in them putting on an extra pair of socks will not actually keep your feet dry

2. If you have squished discs in your neck that make you feel faint when you look up or bend down, don't look up or bend down when you are near your pond

3. Dogs will eat sick

5. Watching dogs eat sick will make you want to be sick, and so it goes on....

6. A broody chicken will not stop being broody or come off her nest if you fill the hen house with water in an attempt to persuade her

7. If you fill the hen house with water you will have to take out all the straw and start again and you'll still have a broody hen at the end of it

8. Cats won't eat the stomach or intestines of mice they have caught

9. Cats derive great humour from leaving the stomach and intestines of mice they have caught right in front of your washing machine in the place you kneel, but never look at, when filling it

10. Wet dogs and sofas are not a good combination

11. Moths will eat their way through all your clothes regardless of how much they mean to you

12. You may slip over if you tread on a slug

13. This is not helpful if you happen to be carrying a bucket of water at the time

14. If you think you''ll be able to get away with driving your son to school in slippers and without washing your hair or putting on makeup something will happen to force you out of your car and then other people will see you

15. Check any plastic bags for receipts for items you have bought that could be construed as embarrassing before you pass them on to other people (this one wasn't mine but I feel we can all learn from it. It actually happened to a friend, who gave the bag containing the embarrassing receipt to a vicar of all people)

16. If you drink too many homemade cocktails because they taste like fruit juice and then try to put your son's bike away down the steps into the garage you will fall over and bear the imprint of the wheel spokes on your bottom for quite some time afterwards

17.  Check the poo bag you use to collect your dog's poo while out walking for holes before you use it

18. If you accidentally swear in front of your four year old niece she will repeat the word when the largest number of people possible are listening, and then tell everyone you taught her it

19. If you decide to put on a (very rare) face pack in the middle of the day the postman will have the one item a year that requires a signature 

20. Finally, if you are trying on a fancy dress outfit (complete with tutu, wings and a long silver wig) in the middle of the afternoon be prepared for the vicar's wife to knock on the door selling raffle tickets for the summer fete





 

12 comments:

  1. Oh CT this did make me laugh, thank you so much...I think you could start a trend with this one!

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    1. Good idea! It would be a sort of public service :-)

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  2. A good week then... and it's only Wednesday!

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    1. I know. Two more days to go. Am I safe to be let outside??

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  3. These made me smile as some of them have happened to me too! Hope the rest of the week is more enjoyable!
    Sarah x

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    1. Now you've got me wondering which ones Sarah... x

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    2. All of these things are true...oh so true. And welcome aboard Much Malarkey Manor! Always good to have new guests! (Can I also add regarding point 17 that one should also check plastic bags for holes before one empties one's cat litter tray?!)

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    3. Oh goodness yes holey plastic bags and litter trays- I had forgotten how annoying (and messy) those are. Did you see my comment on your gardening post? Have been trying to find your blog after giggling at your comments on Jessica's. Very glad I managed to work it out - I've been doing more giggling this afternoon reading your posts. Will look forward to more. And thanks for the follow here too :-)

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  4. Hysterical post - wonderful :) Am still laughing now. And yes some have happened to me :)

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    1. I'm so glad to know that I am not alone in these things! x

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  5. Wonderful post! This is about learning the hard way, isn't it?

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    1. It's a mark of how fond of all of you I am that I've shared these things...! CT x

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Thank you for leaving a comment. I always enjoy reading them and will try my best to reply to every one. CT x